Perplexing Portals

For Troll Gods #1: trollgods.blogspot.com/

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Name:  Drinking Door

Description:  Improperly named since its conception, The Drinking Door is actually composed of tough hairs woven into thick columns which act as a curtain dangling over a passageway.  It was constructed by Brewmaster Bannockburn from the shaved beards of his failed pupils, though if the offending student had no facial hair is was rumored that the fibers were collected from more sensitive areas of the body.  Bannockburn traded a magical favor for a barrel of his personally made Neretelvtsew Beer: the fibers of the curtain would remain wound tight with the strength of platinum chords unless doused with a certain alcoholic mixture, in which case the curtains would become as pliable as silky hair for 10 seconds; just long enough to pass through. Bannockburn chose this particular door to guard his most precious stores of alcohol.  Woe be to the curious student or intruder who tries to pilfer from the storeroom: a failed attempt releases a haze of inebriates into the room and any living beings therein soon find themselves blind drunk.  The wily old man has had his share of break-ins and might be willing to dump the stupefied intruders at the local prison if they’re first-time offenders.  Repeated attempts to pass the Drinking Door without his consent tempts Bannockburn to add the would-be thieves’ own hair to the curtain.

Possible Solutions:
● The door must be given a beer that it has never had before.  Unfortunately it has acquired a very worldly taste over the past few decades.
● Only beer aged in a cask made from the rare everheart tree will part the curtains.
● Any beer will open the door, however it must be held in the mouth of someone singing Bannockburn’s favorite drinking song and then spat on the door’s beard from 14 feet away.

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Name:  Debating Door

Description:  A set of double doors carved from marble.  In relief on each side is a robed figure gesturing pompously.  The figures are the likenesses of Otac and Suicrop, two famed statesmen of a long-ago era. This door is not one of a kind, but may be found in some schools of debate or other forums as a test of wit and willpower or a way to keep overweight students out of the pantry.  Each door is blessed with some of the genius of the statesman carved into it.  The carvings eyes and lips will move and occasionally it will make a jerky motion with its body to emphasize a point.  There is no lock; the doors must be reasoned with to open.
The doors are not actually intelligent; their enchantment merely searches through the literature and arguments from the historical records of Otac and Suicrop and has them repeat the most relevant verses as answers or questions.  As both were prolific in their day, there’s quite a lot to go on and the uninitiated are usually fooled into thinking that they’re having an actual conversation with an intelligent item or trapped spirit.

Possible Solutions:
● The door must be convinced that the person trying to open it has actual, real need of whatever is behind it.  Otac will argue that the person talking to the door is unworthy of its prize, while Suicrop will argue that the object or place behind the door is actually of no use to its seeker.
● Otac and Suicrop must be convinced to agree with each other on an issue and shake hands.  The issue changes each time they shake and can range from whether or not man is a divine being to the exact percentage of taxation cabbage imports should receive if there is a bumper crop during a peasant revolt.  Otac will take a more radical approach while Suicrop plays the conservative.
● The door is completely and absolutely bonkers due to an rush-job during its enchantment.  Its arguments will make no sense or be extremely fallacious.  Its opponent must confuse it using its own logical fallacies against it.  Any attempts at reason will be dodged by Otac who will continually produce red herrings and angrily ramble about nothing.  Suicrop will try to appear as a peace-maker and take the middle ground between whatever various truths might arise, seeking false compromises to the facts.